Three Signs I Am Losing Control of the English Language Forklift! Arthropod! Fleem.

I have uttered the following three sentences, in context, in complete and utter seriousness, during the course of the past 72 hours.

1. Drive safe, and please stop making poor peanut choices.

2. You can't buy an orange from a hole in the ground.

3. Call off the pillowcase dogs!

(Please note that this last one is in no way related to a sentence that will live forever in the archives of Weird Things My Husband Used to Say in His Sleep as the number one entry to top, namely, "Fire the dogs from the launching pad!")

This does not, perhaps, bode well for my career as a PhD student in this very language which I am so mangling. On the other hand, it might launch a career in comparative literature. Or performance arts.